Sunday, August 3, 2014

so, a rant...guess this is a safe place

here is a facebook post by a young lady I know through church...

Dear neighbors,
I know it's after 2 a.m. and we are playing our music pretty loud. But we are celebrating my bro in laws 30th and in four hours my nephew who is in the army and has been in Afghanistan for ten months will return back to Afghanistan for a long time. Am I sorry? Not one bit. Thanks for understanding.

my response:..."wow, I could not disagree with this perspective more"

I hate and do not get involved in Facebook 'squabbles'...but this just burns my biscuits.

It is good that this family has something wonderful to celebrate.  BUT thinking this gives her the RIGHT to tell her neighbors "Am I sorry? Not one bit. Thanks for understanding" is just too immature and self centered for me.   What if the neighbor has a newborn?  What if the neighbor works a swing shift and that is his only time to sleep, What if the neighbor is a police officer who just came home from a 16 hour shift and has to wake up again in 4 hours to start a new one (and that has happened to my son). What if the neighbor has a mom with Altzheimers who loses it if she does not get to sleep by 7pm (and that has happened to me)

How dare this young woman think her celebration trumps the needs of her neighbors.   

Thankfully I do not live near her, cuz 'friend' or not, I would have called the police!

okay vent over.

Sunday is gonna prove to be a busy day...that is why I am up before 6.

Gotta set up the crockpot for dinner. then,

Church, I'm not teaching as a group of young men and women from Ambassador Soccer Camps will be doing our church services...and I did not want the 5th and 6th graders missing out.  

Switching cars with my son, as he is driving to Yosemite with a couple of the Soccer coaches.  He has been hosting Victor a young man from Brazil and Matt a young man from England.  My son drives a Hyundai commute car...I (recently) have something a li'l more comfortable for such a long trip.

Fremont, gonna drive to Fremont to deliver a kitty to an old friend of mine, Lori.  She is adopting one that, well, actually the above woman's husband posted on facebook....and Fremont is a little over an hour away...But it gives me an excuse to has been a good 20 years since I have seen Lori.  And, dgd, Adriana just may be going with me.

That means probably won't be home till early evening.

Still need to pack projects for Expo.  I leave on Thursday.  sooooooo excited.  I am actually working a booth!  I'm to work the Kiwi Lane booth on Friday...

Okay, get crockpot done, charge camera for the Yosemite group, worksheet for Sunday school, get off computer....and maybe squeeze in a bit of exercise before church.  

Saturday, August 2, 2014

update on a 'few thoughts'

That was a 'heavy' post for me, not comfortable putting so much 'out there'.  But this has been an amazing week and I really want to share it, though I may not have the right  'words'.

For some reason, I am not accessing comments on the blog...finally found one that someone told me 'disappeared'.  I'm not ignoring any comments...just haven't figured that out.

But thanks to those who have and on my facebook.  Your words and encouragement have meant sooooo much to me.

So after the rather heavy thoughts and reflections in the blog, and the comments by my sisters in Christ...I went to church with the kids on Saturday night.  The pastor did a sermon on Mary, mother of Jesus and concentrated on the announcement and her response.  So, at the end of the sermon he asked us to pray as she did "I am your servant, Lord.  May everything You say about me come true! Amen!"...and I could not do it.  I could not say those words out loud.  I was "I am your...mmmuumobmmmnnn?"

I came home and really thought about it, Why was I so uncomfortable about saying it.  I LOVE God, He is my Savior, I do think of Him as Lord...but why was submitting with words so uncomfortable?
Really examined my heart...and then started saying the prayer.  Wake up in the morning and saying mean it...and the first day was 'awkward'...but  there was a change.

My 'head' was quiet.  Gone were the obsessive conversations in there, esp about food.  I ate because I was hungry.  I mean I'd be going along with my day, then my tummy would growl, and I would think "oh, I'm hungry, time to eat"...Now for some of you, you'll be thinking, "so?  That is how it works", but not for me, not for a lot of years.

This week... Monday, there was a cake for sharing in the office...I walked by it without being even tempted for a slice...I had breakfast and just was not hungry for cake.  (the old me would have at least saved a slice for later)

Chris asked if I wanted to go to Togos for lunch one of the days I was off.  I said no, it just sounded like it was way too much.

Yesterday, we went to Rockhouse Grill in Livermore for lunch.  I let Cierra pick our burger and we shared was sooooo yummy.  When I finished I wished I had a full one...and then it happened...I started to feel full.  and was thankful I only had half.  Now, again some of you are thinking 'that is normal'  all I can say it hasn't been for me...noticing my body's cues about being full and satisfied has not happened for years.

I only exercised twice this week, been a busy after work schedule...but weighed this morning to 3lbs gone!

Are all temptations gone?  No, I was watching an episode of The Shift and when the guy was eating a donut...the old thoughts came back.  That donut looked soooooo goooood.  But I recognized what the thoughts were and was never tempted to go buy one.   AND Cierra reminded me of what Michael and I do with thoughts like that...we have a tradition of acting out physically taking 'arrows' out of our head and breaking them and giving them back to Satan.  (yeah, we look pretty silly, but it is effective for us)

Was every choice perfect?  Nooooooo, we had Chinese food Thursday night.  And I ate too many cream cheese wontons...but did not keep eating and stopped myself at 'full'.

I feel free, I don't know how else to put it...It isn't just pounds...but a tremendous weight is off me.  I do feel like a new person.  I've been a Christian for almost 30 years...and I am just now discovering this?  Did I need to come to this point in my walk to finally 'get it'...or am I just slow to understand?

Anyways, exciting week for me.   The 'prayer' works in other areas also.  But I won't go into that here.