Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I'm a mess...

but I did finish and deliver the wedding scrapbook, I'll post pics later, after my trip to Texas for the holidays.

yesterday, I think I had a 'panic attack' or something. It was while I was on my bike, I noticed that my heartbeat was way fast...I mean way too fast even for a workout. It was scary, I did not know if it was a heart attack or what.

It's almost funny, the thoughts that went through my head at that moment...
first, "Okay, God, so this is it"..."Where do I want to go? Can't lay on the bed, cuz if Michael finds me there he'll never sleep there again"..."Okay, I'll sit on the couch so I can be next to Percy (my cat)"..."Oh, I hope I don't fall and hit my head".

Then came the fear..."Wow, I'm not ready" ..."What should I do?"..."should I call someone?".

gee, I did look up 'racing heart'...'caffeine intolerance' (I did have a pepsi in the afternoon) and 'panic attack'. If it was a panic attack, it will be my 3rd one since Oct. I do have a dr. appt in Jan...I'll discuss it with her then.

But all night it was, "am I breathing too hard", "is my heart beating too fast?", "is that numbness in my arm?"...you know, not sleeping, but thinking/worrying, so, of course I woke up with TMJ..thinking about it, I had TMJ Sunday night also.

BUT I leave for Texas soon, to spend the holidays with my dd and my Texas family...looking so forward to it...it will be a good time to relax.

gotta go, got a tummy ache...ya'll have a Merry Christmas!!

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