time for the resolutions...

like I'm really going to do them! ha!!

1) lose weight......always resolve to do this. This year I have a plan, riiiiight, gotta have the discipline to do what I know I should do, but don't do. Keep the notebook Kristen started me on, treadmill every day, cut the pepsi all the stuff.

2) already have a list of 2009 scrappin' goals: projects to finish, no more stuff shopping! (except club kits and such that I am committed to.) I made the list to put on my scrap room, so hopefully I will use it, mark it off and motivate..right?

I'm tempted by the idea of the Project 365, but think I'm going to try 2 Peas Calendar Girls, though my calendar is a 2007...but I think that will be okay.
If not I'll lift from the other calendar girls!!


3) get the stuff in storage, OUT! We've lived here over 2 years, its time. Now, both dh and I have 'bum' backs, so this is going to have to be done a little at a time. So, even if I just grab a couple of boxes a week, right?

4) Work More, I committed myself to 4 days a week, 8 (?) hours. I'll take every Monday off to be my appt/errands/mom day. (after the 2008 close) We have 3 babies due in 2009 in our office,(including my grandbaby) so everyone is going to be needed to help and adjust to some new duties.

5) Read more, esp to study the Bible, watch less tv. time to make it treadmill tv, again. My one hour in the evening on treadmill. no more couch potato! HA (how long will THAT last?)

6) Cook more, while living in the trailer (while house was built)...(think camping trailer, not double wide)...I got totally out of the cooking/planning meals habit.
an icebox instead of a fridge will do that to you...double ha!!

okay, that's enough resolutions to break!!

Hope ya'll have a wonderful New Year's Eve, we actually have plans,old fogies that we are, we will be with our Bible Study group,a li'l potluck. We told them we usually celebrate New Years Eastern Standard Time, so we are in bed @ 9 pm here in CA...let's see if we make it!!

A Top 10 list

Janet over at Cards and Cardstocks posted her Scrapbooking Top 10, so I thought I'd continue the thought:

My must haves for scrapbooking:

1) Elmers Craft Bond Photo Stick ..I love this glue stick, its temporary until it dries, then it sticks. I can buy it in bulk from M's.

2) Cutter Bee scissors, always at hand

3) printed paper, I start with the printed paper then pick cardstock and embellishments

4) Printmaster Gold, my handwriting is very messy (sometimes I can't read it) so all journaling is done on the computer.

5) HP Photosmart A627, print all but a huge bulk of photos at home (like the wedding), can print up to a 5x7

6) Stampin Up's Creamy Caramel ink...most used ink ..the pad is starting to fray

7) BLING, I just love bling, esp Prima's swirls in the topaz color.

8) background stamps, the Stampin Up small ones, usually done in the same color as the cardstock to add a li'l dimension

9) Bazzill Bling...just love that touch of sheen

10) Prima's Essential flowers, I think I've collected every tube.

Wanted for 2009:
Distressed Stickles
Prima's 'The Robin's Nest' Dew Drops
Bazzill Tulle

and all kinds of BABY Girl supplies, for my first grandbaby!! (you know I've already been collecting!)

It's been very mellow...

You know how much I LOVE pajama days, well, that was yesterday.
I worked on my Shimelle Journal (finished 2007) and am working on 2008.

Directed dh on the hanging up of a couple of pictures, and shelves in my scraproom.
The shadow box type, so no scrap stuff in it, but got some decor stuff off my shelves to make room for scrap stuff. teehee

A 2 peas thread had a link to Wordle, so I played with it.


Did a li'l online after Christmas sale shopping...Target, 2 peas, Current and The Cat's Pajamas (thanks, Toni at Moved to Mountains).

Overall, a nice, mellow day. So hopefully today will be more of the same, EXCEPT, I'm peeling off these pajamas and taking a shower...maybe I'll just put on another
pair. HA!

I guess I should take down Christmas decorations...nah, I'll do that next weekend, after the 1st...

Glitterfy.com - Glitter Graphics

Cats and Christmas...

Percy aka Purrman



I wrapped my gifts last night, with being out of town for a couple of weeks, it got put off...but I did it last night.

But, I was awakend around 2 am by the sound of rustling paper...wha?....I get up and its my Percy pulling out the tissue from one of the gift bags. Okay, now Percy is 7 years old and outgrown this type of thing...right?




oh, and yesterday when I went to work, I got an ecard from Wrigley. He's the cat I sponsored at Best Friends Rescue...He has feline leukemia, so he probably won't be adopted. But I thought it was 'cool' to get an e-card.....

last but not least, yesterday morning I got an email from dd, asking me to call her cell. She could hear the 'text' beep but could not find her phone. So, I did...teehee. she found it in one of the gift bags under HER tree. While I was down in Fort Worth..we had put the tree up and all was fine. Little Colby might sit under it, might reach up and 'chew' on a branch, but he WAS leaving it alone. I guess, in the past week, he has discovered how much FUN Christmas trees are...and during one of the times dd had to wrestle him out of it, the phone fell into a gift...HA!!! What a fun grand-kitty I have!! teehee You KNOW what I said, 'take a picture'!!

this + this








=



'tons of fun' for dd and dsil!!! (good thing he's cute!!)



Ya'll have a great Christmas Eve!!

The Women...

okay, gotta start out by saying what a COOL Movie...there is soooo much in there, where do I begin.

1st of all, I want to thank Meg, Anette and Debra for having their wrinkles, it was so refreshing to see stars who are not tight faced and botoxed out. They were supposed to be middle aged women, and they looked it, still beautiful middle aged women, but without the botox.


I had to laugh, at the luncheon scene, when Meg's character asked her mom, "Do you think this is a 30's movie?"...ummm yah, think Norma Shearer's The Women.

The fight between Meg and Anette, was wonderful and classic. So next time I'm in a fight, I'll throw an ear of corn at my friend's head.

Oh, when the daughter is all make-up'd out...she reminded me of my teenage neice..eery. Now my neice's hair and clothes aren't like that...but her face...

And the advice Bette gave her, well, it has me thinking... as women spend so much time 'fulfilling' roles, do we ever really think about what it is we WANT out of our own lives?

I absolutely loved the 'I Want' bulletin board...
maybe, I could do one, or a layout, or a mini book.
What do ya'll think?

Christmas Chaos...

2008 Journal
2007 Journal


I got my jammie day...did not wrap gifts as I did not have certain needed supplies, but scrapped and scrapped and scrapped!~

Mil's gift - done...except 2 pages I don't have pics for, so I created a mat to insert pic on.

Shimelle Journal - 2007 - caught up to Dec 20

Shimelle Journal - 2008 - catching up on...up to Dec 9 or 10

The pics above are of the floor of my scrap room. Yeah, you can't walk there.
but a lot of fun, and I highly recommend the Shimelle Journals to anyone interested.

Okay, off to print a pic for dil, then we are going to watch "The Women" with Meg Ryan and gang.

big scrappin, Christmas day...

since I've been gone for a couple of weeks,
catch up time!

goals:
finish mil's book (her Christmas gift)
catch up on Shimelle's journal your Christmas
wrap gifts

That is the goal for the day.
wouldn't it be great to stay in my jammies also?

okay, off to the races...

I'm HOOOOME, whatta trip...

how do I start?
Yesterday, I got up @5 am. (Texas Time)...got ready to go, kids woke up and said goodbye and I headed for the DFW airport a little after 6am, in the fog. Now, my flight wasn't till 9:25, but I was giving myself plenty of time, to return the rental car, take a shuttle, check in (gotta give yourself a couple of hours during the holidays, right?).

So, do very well, till I get to the mega major airport and try to find the rental return area...now if I had followed signs instead of my google directions, I would have been fine. As it was, it took me 2 U-turns, and as my sis Bre would say, "I needed a valium". Return the car, had to pay an extra $75 cuz I did not return it to the same place I rented it...but, okay, I knew that. Asked the young lady how to get to terminal, she instructed me to read the board, find out which terminal my flight is at, then take correct bus. Easy enough...go to the board...NO FLIGHTS to Sacramento, look at it closer...NO FLIGHTS by Southwest. WTH!! So, NOW I look at my ticket...wrong airport!!!

Run back to the Enterprise counter, to ask for a phone book. She told me go to any terminal and there will be taxis...okay...so take the next bus to leave and he takes me to the taxi bay. Get my taxi, $45, from airport to airport...but okay, I have my credit card...it is during the ride, I noticed that the meter is not on. Now, this is a pleasant fellow, enjoyed talking and laughing with him. But when it is time to pay and I pull out my credit card...yeah...cash please. Luckily, I barely have enough. And run into the terminal.

All goes smoothly, I am there with plenty of time. Grab some snacks..cuz its Southwest and all they feed you are peanuts (which with the holes in my teeth, I cannot eat). and wait, and wait...Fog Delay.

But it is great, not a filled flight, so we own it! The first stop Tulsa.

All goes well, but it is a filled flight to Vegas...and in Vegas there is a delay, because the airport was closed in the morning...but not overwhelming, do-able.

Then a filled flight to Sacramento...are you getting the pattern...I am on a Southwest flight with 3 stops...a flight that does not FEED you! Luckily, I have my snacks...but when I do finally disembark, I have a major hunger headache.

We arrive at 3:30 CA time...the flight was supposed to land at 2pm...
LUCKILY, I don't run into traffic traveling thru Sacramento, Stockton and Tracy to get home. And I am home @5:30...now for me this is already a 14 hour day (add 2 for the time difference between Tx and CA)

I'm exhausted, but there is so much to do, eat, unpack, and there are 15 packages for me...I did some online shopping. I do go to bed at 8pm...without watching CSI.
and it is so nice to sleep with my Percy next to me.

Dh is in Reno, (see previous post) good thing I did not go. But, it is hard to stay asleep, cuz there is so much to be done around here. Errands.
I finally get up @1 am and bring a notebook to my bed to make a list. It works, I am able to fall back asleep. Yay!

so, here I am, posting to my blog...but let me leave ya'll with a couple of pictures:


Colby on meds while
traveling.



and a Texas Snowman~!

we're home from Houston...

Dd and I made it, big sigh, we are getting so sick of the car. But I'm glad we went. Spent time with my sister Bre and her daughters, then I had lunch with my sister Linda. (yes, it all had to be seperate, big family bru-ha-ha) It wasn't till last night that I realized I had not taken any pics!! (what kind of scrapbooker am I?) so, I got up at 6am...so I could take a pic of the girls as they head out to school. Needless to say, this was not met with enthusiasm. Bre and dd refused to let me take pics, as they both did not have makeup. Oh Well!! I took pics of Bre's christmas tree and dog, they did not give me attitude!!

We went to Archivers last night, I don't have one in CA, so an Archivers and a Hobby Lobby stop are essential to me. But, why do I do it, every time I go, I spend over $100. Aye yi yi.

Tonight, we should be going to the Cracker Barrel for dinner, those chicken and dumplings are the BEST...(I don't have any of these in CA, either)

And tomorrow, home!! well, kind of. Got a call from dh last night, he wants to meet me at the airport, pick me up and take me to Reno for the evening, then on Friday go back to airport and I can pick up my car and go home. He's going to Reno for a Christmas dinner with some of the Reno's branch managers and such. They go to Stirlings at the Silver Legacy. Hmmmm, I've only brought comfy clothes and shoes for the Texas trip...and I am sooooo sick of cars...and I miss my kittycat...BUT, its important to him, so I'm going. He said we'll stop somewhere and buy me appropriate clothes and shoes. Plus the scrapbooker in me thinks this will be an interesting entry in my Shimelle Journal.

A journal I have not been working on as I cannot access my email...I can't find the right webpage, now I have done this in the past, I don't know what is different this time. Oh well.

Its going to be hard to leave dd and dsil, I love them both and will miss them so much. It is going to be hard not to have a Christmas with them. But I keep reminding myself, that this is the goal in raising our children, that they go out and make their own lives, be equipped to become productive members of society, to discover themselves, their own love and happiness
...whatever...blah, blah, blah...

I just want the grandbabies.

last night...

We arrived in Houston @6pm, went out to eat at Escalantes (the white cheese queso is wonderful) ...then went to see the movie Twilight. We owned the place, which was great. It was me, my dd, my sis and neice...we liked it. I have read the series, my neice is almost done with the first book and dd and sis have not read any of it. So as the book reader, I would say that it was not as good as the book...but how could any movie be.

All 4 of us thought Edward was cute...but also thought James, the bad vampire was too. And that Jasper looked like he had his finger in an electrical socket.

But I thought the baseball scene was well done.

Oh, and the biology scene made dd laugh. It was done stupidly, with the 'breck girl'moment and where Edward looks like he is going to puke. (remember she has not read the books, so couldn't put it in 'context')

And as soon as she saw the Indian teens at the beach, she whispered "They are werewolves, aren't they?"

Dd studied acting in college,a theater minor, so I asked what she thought of Bella.
(if she could break the performance down technically for us) for we all thought the girl playing Bella was...awful. But luckily not enough to ruin the movie, at least not for us.

Both dd and neice are definately on Team Edward...I'll have to see the next movie, where they really round out Jacob's character to decide.

the "O.C" girl in DFW...

Its been a little fun watching my dd, who has been living in Southern California make the transition to becoming a Texan..okay, THAT may never happen. But here are a couple of observations.

She used to work at South Coast Plaza, the very upscale mall in Costa Mesa. So, we went to a mall here in Fort Worth...hmmm, now this mall has a lot of great stores...but, the Victoria's Secret Cosmetics store, does not have the selection she is used to. She actually asked the cashier, and the cashier recommended a mall in Dallas as being more 'upscale', and may have the selection dd is looking for. BUT, no fears, we plan to visit Memorial Mall and possibly Galleria while in Houston.

Oh, the first night in Fort Worth, we were in a Waffle House in Euless (near our hotel)...and..when she saw a guy 'light up' a cigarette at the counter...uh oh. Now in CA, we have the laws where there is no smoking in public places...and that is what she is used to.

dd.."how rude!!"
me and dsil.."There are different laws here in Texas"
dd.."well, he wouldn't like it if I walked by him and tooted"
me and dsil.."He probably wouldn't react to that"
dd.."well, at least I'm not emitting toxins into the air!"sidenote...kinda depends on what she ate for lunch, huh?

but we have since found out that Tx is changing their laws next year to be more like CA.

A Super Walmart, actually, she kinda likes these. While living in Orange County, we did not find any Walmarts near her, there was a Target. So, during the 4 years of college she went there.
After marrying the Marine, she had a Walmart right there in Oceanside, and had noted that her money went further at that Walmart than the Target. Now, the Super Walmart here in Fort Worth, was a first for both of us...and we like it. And the one Target we've driven by, on the 377, is a Super Target. So convenient and the pricing is helpful for these kids on a budget.
But, I have noted that I don't see many grocery stores around here, so far, maybe one Kroger and one Albertsons...

She is convinced the freeway system is more difficult than So. Cal and L.A...I think they are the same..okay, DFW has been worse.
I mean, they have the 35E and the 35W, 2 different freeways going North and South. Guess, 35E runs thru Fort Worth..while 35W runs thru Dallas...but why are both 35? Why not a different number? Sure confused us the first time we saw a 35E N sign...I mean what is it East or North?

AND the drivers here are equally aggressive and rude. You know, a turn signal means 'hurry up so the person cannot get in your lane', as opposed to allowing someone in. Which I still do.
(when I lived in Texas, 25 years ago, I remember drivers being more courteous) (but that could be the difference of the 25 years, huh)
I don't remember doing things like blocking parking lot entrances...but they sure do it here. You have to stick your nose in between cars to get out of a parking lot.

We've been telling dd she may need to gain a little weight. In the O.C..the goal is to be a size 0 or 2, 4 is getting heavy and what did they say in that movie (the Devil Wears Prada)? 6 is the new 16? (which I think is STUPID) Anyways, 6 to 8 and up looks like the norm out here (which I think is better and healthier) We have not seen very many pencil thin, skeletal looking gals out here. YAY!!

Overall, I think dd will adjust. The store clerks are friendlier, to get someone willing to help ya as opposed to growl at ya for disturbing them IS a different experience. AND we have noticed that.

Funny note, while at a kiosk in front of the Macy's, DD and I were looking at puzzles and games. I noticed a good looking young man, just kinda hanging out...trying to catch dd's eye. When she pulled out a Sooneropoly game (she is married to an Okie)..the young man told his friends, "she's an OU fan" and they walked away. teehee

Big City freeways..

So, this morning dd and I decide to try out the mall here.. North East Mall, so I google directions, which include:

Take exit 22 toward State Hwy 121/Fort Worth/N Richland Hills (okay)

Merge onto NE Loop 820 (not bad)

Sharp left at Airport Fwy/NE Loop 820/E Loop 820 N East/E Loop 820 N Service Rd E(what the HECK!)

Turn right at Cranford Ct (this I can understand)

all I can say, is this is going to be interesting...how many freeways in that one line? 4?

oooh, the simple days of taking one exit off Interstate 5...but I will go home to my sanity on the 18th.

edited next morning: Well, took the wrong merge onto NE 820 or something, so did not make it to the sharp left. There was a split to choose either right or left..we chose left...BUT the good thing is we had to U turn on the 820, which made the mall to the right of the freeway, and easier to get to. Now, trying to come home, I chose the wrong freeway (the 820 was in front, so I got on the freeway in front...but NOOOOO that was the 121...so ANOTHER U-turn (luckily they have U turn lanes under the overpasses). I won't go into detail, but lets just say, I had a total of 3 U-turns this trip!!

Whew!!

The past week has been a whirlwind...and yesterday we finally got internet. A week without internet, now THAT is tough on your system.

Lets see, arrived in San Diego on Thursday...went to On the Border for lunch after the airport, then got to work, packing up.

Friday, some errand running...getting the car an oil change, a Walmart run, then finished packing and loading the Penske truck and were heading out by 4 pm. We drove (in the worst of San Diego commuter traffic) and stopped just past Yuma, AZ. Colby did very good, watching traffic and for a while, we thought we had a 'travel' cat...we were wrong. Stayed at a nice Microtel. Decided we were not going to set a schedule, and wake up when we wake up.

Saturday, woke up and headed out @9am. Colby started to show his colors and we gave up and gave him one of those 'settle' down pills, OH MY!! He got grumpy...like biting me and Cierra..grumpy. After the pill, he was able to sleep..it was nice. And when he woke up in the evening...he was much more mellow. We are hauling a trailer with Chris's car, so we can only go about 50mph. So its a comfortable 'lolly lag' across AZ and New Mexico..but we stop after El Paso for the night. At a 8 hotel..I can't remember the rest of the name, but it was horrible. because we are travelling with a pet, they put is in a smoking room. DISGUSTING!!!

Sunday, head out toward Fort Worth! Because of our great experience at the previous Microtel, we change our reservations from Best Western to Microtel in Euless (near the airport) and it is NICE..best customer service at the counter also. The drive with Colby is very much like Saturday...you can really tell he is getting sick of the car. Once we get to the hotel, he 'goes nuts', enjoys having space to run. I get my own room here, love the kids, but I need my own space also. The kids set up their laptops in the room...and start emailing realtors and responding to ads for home rentals.

Monday..I make some phone calls from the newspaper ads and set up a house viewing in Arlington. This will be the first of about 7 house we look at...hmmmmm.

Okay, ad says 1600 sq foot home, near lake and golf course...what we saw was..gross. No other word for it. the outside siding on the side of the house is rotting. The master bath was ugly and small and the kitchen had a dead cockroach in the middle of the floor. And the neighbors, literally had trash in their front yard and alongside the house. Right, we are going to put my little "Miss Orange County" dd in a house like that. We scooted out of there quickly. We drove by another house in Arlington, then cancelled the tour with the fellow. Just knew by the outside that it was not for them.

Actually, dd grew up in a 'hick' town in central CA...but spent 4 years in the OC for college and the past year in North San Diego married to her Marine...so, she has So. Cal tastes.

We then headed North...to North Fort Worth. and LOVED the first house... 2000 sq foot, 4 bedrooms, the layout is perfect the amenities, including a kitchen with an island...just loved it. And it set a standard for the other 4 houses... Only one house, that was similar came close, but it was for $200. So they were torn...one they LOVE for a little higher (that is not as 'clean') or the 2nd place..not loved as much, cleaner, for a little less. So, dd calls the owner of the LOVE house and asks for the key code so we can take a 2nd look and make sure it is LOVE and not relief after the 'gross' house...ya know. She tells him about the other house and that it is less...and that is tempting to the kids. To make a long story short (Ha!)...he brings the price down and it is love not relief, so we move in on Tuesday.

Now to put it in perspective, in San Diego, they were paying $15 less per month for a one bedroom apartment...here they are getting a 4 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 living room, laundry room, garage, backyard...huge kitchen with an island...they are very happy. And so is Colby, he has been going 'insane' with all the running he can do and the exploring.

So, Tuesday, we move in. Now it is just us 3. and with my back I am worthless to move heavy furniture. Luckily, there are only 3 or 4 pieces that I cannot help with. We do it in shifts..unload truck, put away stuff. So it actually goes pretty smooth. I do kitchen, dd does master closet (these kids are clothes collectors, so it is pretty full) then she does master bath. Chris sets up washer/dryer and sets up the office...

Weds and Thurs...SHOPPING, organizing and cleaning.

We got to Ikea, to pick up the stuff in my room. A twin bed and a desk area. I have my own little scrap corner in Fort Worth!!

At first, dd is not 'into' it.. but eventually even she starts calling it the scrap room!! Yay, Yay, Yay. And I worked on the project I brought.

So here we are, Friday morning, pretty much settled in. Yesterday we picked up a Christmas tree at Walmart...so we have the last of the furniture to build, (hey, Marine-income budget, so buildable furniture) and a tree to decorate. We are all looking forward to a
'home' day.

And on Sunday, I plan to leave for Houston to visit my sisters...
Hope I can do it, cuz yesterday, while driving on the 114...I had a mild anxiety attack. I'm sure not used to crazy freeway systems, yesterday alone we went to the 35W S to 820 E...then back over
820W to 35W N to 170E to 114E (where I had my li'l episode) (had to stop at a Michael's to settle down)...dd took over to the 121 N to get to an Ikea. Its been like that EVERYday! I'm used to one North to South freeway I5, merging to one East West Freeway 580...this was tooo much for me!!

And so is this long post...I'll come back later and do a shorter post about little miss OC adjusting to Texas...ha!!!!!

time for my trip...

Here is Colby, I'll be traveling with him next week. in a car. oh what fun.



AND
soooo cool, guess what button I found...I can now be a follower or a subscriber to other people's blogs...

not everyone has that button.. but I sure am enjoying it.

The subscribe button is cool also, whenever I sign on to my Yahoo I can see who has updated.

Well, I got all my stuff done. Preparing for a trip sure is hectic.
Ready to go! Soooo, I'll try to keep up but I may be without computer access for a while. Take Care all!!

a slide show of photos

There was a thread on 2 peas, about our fave photographer and how that person has inspired us.

I responded about C's friend Tyler Coleman, and how he makes the mundane look like art. How he inspired me with his photos he took after a trip to San Francisco with dd and a group of friends. He creates art with his perspectives...that before I'd never think of looking at...and trying to capture.

And it got me thinking, about how my own phototaking has changed. So I thought I'd do this slideshow about some of the pics I have taken that I wouldn't have thought of taking before. You know, back when I everything was centered, posed and all.

So, I leave you with a link to pics he took of dd's wedding

Tyler's pics
of dd's wedding

getting ready...

There is just so much to be done!

As I prepare for this trip and try to think of what needs to be done so Christmas can go smoothly when I get back. So, on Saturday, dd and I worked on the tree..and I have been decorating (a little) around the house and for the past couple of days, setting up Christmas cards so I can mail them Weds. Then there are the layouts for the Circle Journals. I need to pick up a couple of things also.

Work is hectic, gotta squeeze what I usually take a couple of weeks to do into 3 days. Now it was helpful that I was able to do a lot of the stuff last month to 'prep' myself.

I ordered a bunch of stuff on Amazon today. Cyber Monday, right? Well, you know me, if there is any kind of shopping day... I'll participate. I gotta help with the economy.

Oh! you know how Victoria's Secret was giving those certificates on Black Friday. That could be worth from $10 to $500? Well, dd found out that hers is worth $100.
She made a $15 purchase and got $100. Kinda makes me wish I had bought something there.

I'm looking forward to this trip, a chance to go to Texas, see my sisters...and hang out with dd and dsil..but, oh, its going to be so hard. Part of me is excited for them...the other part is soooo sad. But we raise our kids, and equip them to leave the nest and make their own lives. That is the point. So, I am very proud.

Good thing I have a grandbaby on the way...someone to take my spoiling needs out on... dil is spreading the rumor (okay its true) that I have already bought Adrianna 15 outfits. teehee Since dd is leaving the state, I've even thought about buying some Tinkerbell decor to convert dd's room to Adrianna's room at grandmas. teehee.

okay,
off to bed...Heroes is intense...yikes!!